They'll Show You and You'll Show Them

Wow. You know I really want to use this site, but it is a huge pain. Formatting alone seems to be a continuous battle and it has limited my posting. Still, I'm not one to give up. So, in that spirit, let's discuss something that I consider very important and certainly very topical. It's something that has been all over the news based on Robin Williams' untimely demise. That is suicide.

One thing that I keep reading and hearing is people talking about how selfish it is and how much contempt that they have  for such an idea or practice. They always say that the person in question is a coward and how they chose the "easy" way out. My question to those people is, how do you know?

How do you know that the arch angel Gabriel didn't come down to this person and say "Do it or EVERYONE else dies!" How do you know that there wasn't someone or something torturing them to the point where they said, "You know what? Just kill me"? How do you that their meds didn't make them loose their minds or that their natural illness didn't affect them to the point that they lost control? How do you know that weird chemicals in our food and water and air didn't finally develop to the point that their natural immunity and human strength wasn't enough to handle it?

 You don't. For all you know, they put up a good fight that you never could. For all you know, they battled demons over the course of years that would lay you to rest in a matter of days. For all you know they saved the planet from aliens that appeared in their bedroom and instructed them to do themselves in to prevent the enslavement of all mankind. 

You have no idea.

Still, people rage all the time, blaring that they simply gave up and were some sort of weakling. That is something that you say when you're mad at that person and want to lash out at them for depriving you of their presence. OR, when you want to shout out to other people who might consider similar attempts from doing the same. I'm sorry, but that's not them being selfish. No, my friend. That is you being selfish. YOU have NO IDEA what they were going through. You have no idea what new and experimental medication that they may have been prescribed. You have no idea what kind of total grief they were experiencing. You are thinking only of yourself and not them.

Don't get me wrong. There are people who commit suicide because..."I'LL SHOW THEM!" Still, maybe they cried out over and over again and everyone ignored them. Maybe when they dropped hints people got mad at them and just told them to "get help" or "suck it up". Maybe they tried to get help and the "professionals" just sighed and rolled their eyes at yet another case that seemed to have little or no reason to feel such sadness and confusion. Maybe those same "professionals" told them to meditate because that would eliminate the possibility of providing them with proper healthcare that the patient couldn't afford.

I've lost people. I've always coped by telling myself that I had no idea what was going on. But, I've never allowed myself to get mad at them. That would be me protecting myself. Maybe they were "taking the easy way out". Maybe they weren't considering how it might affect other people. Then again, maybe that's exactly what they were doing. I personally, can't say. I wasn't there and they didn't tell me what was going on. They just took their own lives.

There's something else. How do any of us know that it's the "easy" way out? For all any of us know, the other side is ten times more difficult than here. That's always been the deterrent for me. How do I know that I don't have to come back and do this shit all over again with no recollection of what happened the first time? For all I know, it's a game show and if you check out, you have to start back at the beginning with no Mario experience to get you over the pitfalls. For all I know, you loose. For all I know, you go to "hell".

Don't hate these people. If you do, then it's most likely not them that you hate. It's yourself for not seeing that they were bullied in school with no compassion, that they were struggling against a work life that was determined to destroy them to begin with, that they were on medication that would push them towards it, that they were chemicals that none of us could see that affected them, that they were genetically predisposed to do it anyway. You...don't...know. You are agnostic in this situation.

So, shut up. Man/woman up. Stop being the true coward and baby and deal. You are now the one with the problem. Work it out.

Finally, let me add that this is not meant to condone suicide. Suicide is really just grasping at straws. As I said, there's no telling what's on the other side. It may make things far worse. And it's certainly a more dramatic and less rational way than just openly and blatantly asking for help. Regardless, while life may be hard...it is ours, all of ours, to live as we see fit.

Suck it up. And that goes for those of us left behind.

In April of 2013 I published a novel on Smashwords. This book spawned a sequel and two more are in the planning stages. In addition to that series I am also working on two other books. One is in the editing stage and the other is just a mass of tangled ideas in my head at the moment. So far my first book has sold meagerly and the second has sold even less. While investigating publicity options, one in particular kept coming up. I needed to start blogging again.

Back in 2004-5 I was a front page regular on tBlog. I was working in an office and had little to do with my time, so blathering on about  my daily frustrations became a habit. I had the pleasure of making friends with some very insightful people and I learned a lot about myself. So, why not? Let's do this.

To start, I suppose that I should talk, er, write about my books. The first one is entitled Common Knowledge and it is the story of an anthropology student who moves to rural Alabama to get her graduate degree and to study a Mississippian mound site. There she meets a series of odd characters with a lot of bad habits. Mostly, they abuse alcohol and sleep around a lot. After all, they are college students, most of them. It's hardly the Great Gatsby, but it is a fun little story and I'm happy with how popular the characters are with my readers. In fact, I often get nasty emails from people who have read the book and aren't always pleased with how I treat my fictional children. (It's a strange life when I can count being cussed out as praise.)

The sequel is called Macy's Day and it essentially picks up where Common Knowledge leaves off. It's the following semester and the main character has new challenges, while several other characters face loss and personal demons. I don't want to go into too much detail with either book at the moment, but I will say that they are both funny, scandalous and even touching. On top of that, they are both only $1.99 at Smashwords.

So, that's my basic introduction. I can promise that future posts will be more amusing and cerebral. Well...some will. Others I may just make a series of fart jokes. I mean, you have to break stuff up, right?


     "I have a blog! In my blog thoughts were composed in the most delicate manor that showcased my writing ability, my passion for life and plenty of other things that I can't think of at the moment." Eka the Ferret